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The Primary Online Journal
j a jackson
[aka jai jackson, Jack Sun, j krut, & Jo 0]

Except in a highly complex psychological way, the "facts" and opinions expressed on this website do not represent the truth, which is in any case at best relative.

Posts to this list are new website entries.
Many posts are old work, but all are newly presented to the public.

Alternating Sometimes I am not myself.

The Price of Freedom If anyone knows about alternate personalities...
Which came first, the chicken or the insomnia? Somewhere along the line, I grew up.
"My name is John Crighton, an astronaut..." Lost is the new found.
Dream States The last blue haze of evening.
Lies and Other Human Truths "Crazy. That's how it goes."
Repetition Redux More of the same.
Anti-Social Education Remembering Memorial Day
Just Something Else to Worry About When is agreement not agreement?
The Person He Used to Be He's just like he always was, only different.
Fear of Agoraphobia Abnormality is not abnormal.
Talking Wall Another alternate world.
Conver(sa)tion In full swing.
Time Marches On And the spring goes on and on and on....
Melancholia De facto tolerance.
Writing Well A reverse flashback.
Presage Spring has sprung.
An Imperfect Life I am not who I seem to be; or vice versa.
They're Here Dreaming the aliens off the moon.
Visitors Devolvement is as devolvement does.
On My Own Hidden within.
Seeing Double Schizoid is as schizoid does.
Vague Theory Being other people.
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch Ordinary everyday life begins again.
Hole in the Sky A space adventure.
Another False Start Too many stories; not enough time.
Salvaging Sanity It could happen.
What I am is what I am.
Escalation I sure do miss the summer.
Prophecy I think I'm gonna live.
I, Author The misguided protagonist is always getting in the way.
Now It's later than you think.
Odds and Ends My splintering existence.
Hit List I'll be watching you.
My Way Being out in society disturbs my equilibrium.
Best Laid Plans How to survive the mortgage meltdown and other tales of unconscious intent.
Collections A kind of sense.
National Pride Now what was it I was going to do?
Personal Space It's all about appearance, more or less.
Slow The customer is not always right.
Choice I hate this section of the season.
Autistic Art This craziness just refuses to ease up.
A Fulfilling Life Do what you love and...live like a refugee.
Spam A triviality.
Repetition Postmodernism means never having to say you're sorry.
Christmas in July A bunch of maudlin claptrap.
And you call yourself a revolutionary. Roll, baby, roll. All night long.
Hidden Knowledge I know everything.
Hello, boys (and girls). I'm ba-a-a-ack.
She's Gone Another Poem.
Everything Seasonal A list poem.
In the Gaps An investigation of identity.
Flying A random firing of neurons?
Back Then, and Now It never really goes away.
Social Activism The way is clear.
Another Nicety A life story, and sexual politics.
The Biggest Dream Neither one nor the other.
A Bigger Bitch Conflating dreams and reality.
A Difficult Battle A working theory.
Lefty Loosey Not what it seems.
Hedgin' and Edgin' Going with and against the flow.
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part Eight Kissing the Bee.
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part Seven Hanging on in my own good time.
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part Six Whence cometh our deliverance?
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part Five Negative People.
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part Four A big pain in the ass.
I Guess So Things could be a whole lot worse.
Welcome to the Machine Dumb jocks, celebrities, and nerds. Oh, my.
Odd Behavior Can't we all just get along?
Night and Day I wouldn't have it any other way.
Someone I Used to Be A selective memory.
Reading, Writing, and Arrhythmia-tick The pathetic, latter-day life of an unknown derelict.
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part Three Snow Damage.
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part Two Stop the Violence.
The Crazy (Old Man) Experiment, Part One There is no god but God.
My Second Life It's all mine.
Basic Maintenance Asserting my right to be myself.
No. Wait! Terminator redux.
Commitment The Fish Defense.
Repression The Deadpan Defense.
Difficult Questions We are flesh-born robots with computers for brains.
Death by Marriage Distance therapy.
Redefining Being Sooner or later, I will f1nd something to worry about.
Petty Little Farce One of these days; but not today.
Interrupter I question the diagnosis.
An Ongoing Obsession Making lists of lists of lists of lists.
Star Child This is what I want my life to be.
A Huge Gaping Hole I am my own self-congruent nation-state.
The Autiste Genome Tear down the walls...No, Wait. Strengthen them.
The Next Best Thing Waiting for change.
Incorrigible All criticism is self-criticism.
Voices The people in my head tell me what to do.
Meltdown? Becoming more autistic.
Devo A few more rungs down the ladder of "success".
More Perfect People Stereotyping and prejudice are not exactly the same thing.
Gaps of Text Justifying my justification.
Going Manual The hedge trimmer situation and chapattis.
No Escape The cruelest trick.
Looking for Miss Goodbar I always just want to jump into bed.
Crazy Theories Stress and manipulation. Feel the burn.
Moving On It's all happening in here.
I Don't Like It Documenting motivation.
Genocentric Jerks An elitist oligarchy.
Social Weakness You can't handle the truth?
Areas A list by any other name is still as neat.
If Only Who's the asshole here, really?
Coincidences and Garden Notes Weeds have feelings too.
Days of Grace Now existence.
Interaction Stepping in it, one person at a time.
Real Reality Traffic laws, the economy, and flooding. Oh, my.
Dream Reality One superstition is as good as another.
Dedication All of that other stuff is just so much preoccupation.
Substitution Another pretentious poem.
Society's Failure Normality is not normal.
Repetitive Justification Another Rationalization.
Someone to Watch over Me All of you normal people make life extremely difficult for me.
God is an Asshole You shouldn't take me too literally.
Bitchin' Tools The other side of cool.
Whatever Social relations in general and gender relations in particular.
A Delicate Subject Way more information than you need (and probably want) to know.
Commitment Redux Catching up (with myself).
Fits and Starts and Little Victories The future is a fiction that never comes.
Institutionalized Prejudice It is what it is, no matter what color it is.
Painful Memories People just don't get it.
A Small Piece of the Puzzle What a disappointment.
The Sixth Stage Yet another autistic symptom.
The Deceptive Nature of Time The whole world is autistic.
Oxymoronic Something or Other If you don't feel it, what difference does it make?.
Change Yourself How to win friends and schmooze people.
Why I Hate Society Another irreconcilable internal conflict.
A Crazy Old Man Better left alone.
Dreaming My Life Away What to do when people steal your ideas because you're just too damn lazy.
Different From You My apparent disconcern.
The Road To Greatness The subterfuge of social expectation.
Vindication You will respect my right to determine my own beliefs.
A Great Big Money Grab You should be questioning your system loyalty.
Brainless Automatons The cacophony of society.
Truth Our progress is thwarted most profoundly by our inability to face the truth.
I Think We're All Different On This Bus. Changing the world, one complaint at a time.
The Only Way Changing the world, one death at a time.
Nowhere Else to Go The effects of increasing cultural infringement on the individual psyche and the expectations game.
The Further Adventures of Bill and Hill An excuse for being less than you expect of me.
Vague Performance of a Third Kind When crime is not crime.
Potential Screenplay Myra Breckenridge, please get out of my shed.
I Am Someone (Else) But who?
Loss of Focus Writing is also performance.
The World Out There Keeping it where it belongs.
Scab Get off my lawn!
But Sometimes I Do Want to Change Even though it's merely an illusion.
Three Stupid Limericks I just can't help myself.
I dream, therefore I am Autism is a dream come true.
The Coming Revolution Life is but a dream-movie.
The Great Asshole in the Sky About as caring as the one in high office.
Out of Control A re-packaged Goth novel.
And the Beat(ing) Goes On Looking for clues at the scene of the whine.
A Near-Perfect Life Someday. Maybe.
The Steps of Dr. Caligari Or, Bless the Beasts and the Yeasties.
Missing Out I'd enjoy conversation so much more if it weren't for all the talking.
Get Over It And get over yourself.
If Only Sleeping myself awake.
Hoarding Object lesson learned.
Accomplishment is Accomplishment And so is compensation.
"Tell them to stop talking." The voices in my head are telling me to get you.
Give and Take An imperfect process of helping people, here and abroad.
More of the Same (It's all the same to me.) Stuck in the rut of the episodic nature of life (or art).
A Coincidence of Ideas Or, Ideas of Coincidence.
Waiting for God Or someone like him.
Little Therapies. Celestial observations and other non sequiturs.
Thoughts Like Clouds, Drifting The secret myth of The 4th Turning.
Who I am A secret cause for celebration.
Someone Else A natural way for me to be.
Alien Invader Trying to come out of the oblivion.
What the Mouse Did, and Didn't Do Contingency management as a mechanism for social success.
Now and Again How time travel would change the world.
Just Wondering Society is stupid; but I may be stupidier.
Ten-Lane Highway Seeking out alternative ways to support myself.
Step by Step "Hey! We're walking."
An Answer to my Prayers We are a schizophrenic species.
A Whole Lot More Resisting my inability to resist.
On the Border of Maturity I'm not schizophrenic yes I am.
My Life as a Book Metaphor is as metaphor does.
Acceptable Social Standards Housewife-like behaviors and other oddities.
We Have Met the Enemy The dual nature of projection.
Only a Pawn in their Game A natural occurrence.
A Basic Procedure And yet more OCD.
Postponing the Inevitable I've been hiding out big time for the past few weeks.
Disembodied Nebulous layers of near nothingness.
I Kind of Like It I better start living in a real world instead.
Life on Hold Ah, well.
Boo! If only all of that were really over for another year.
Attraction I prefer to spread the power around.
Interruptions Society is something that exists totally apart from what I think I am.
Disconnect I wish I could sleep and dream forever.
Disclaimer A sci fi story.
More Basic Rights An ineffable universe.
An Acceptable Means A more masterful application of comfort and assurance.
A Whole Lot More They don't call it complexity because it's easy to understand.
Mortal Thoughts  Just wasting time.
Completely Stranded  What's the chance?
A Work of Art  "What a piece of work a man is."
Suburban Myths  I've had many aliases.
Gender Bias  Turning the world around to face me.
An Advanced Form of Existence  The problem with ideas.
Real World Causes  Tearing down the neighborhood.
Exhaustion  Going too far.
An Effort  A past still with me.
Another Story  A perpetual cycle of pain and bigotry.
Messages  What a wonderful world it would be.
Stitching  One of the most successful people in the world.
Time Travel  Negotiating the difficult continuum terrain.
Flawed Moral Philosophy  Am I just projecting again?
Networking Not Working  "I wanna kill. I wanna kill. I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in ma teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies..."
Power Wedge  It's so hard to be so cool.
Crash and Burn  I want all government officials to die slowly and painfully.
Which Came First?  Individuals and societies develop together.
Disturbance  Too much like me.
Falling  Just another gamble.
Revelations  As functional social members, we must see this art.
Stupid is as Stupid Doesn't  What is stupid but a matter of interpretation?
Gearing Up  Are you ready for the summer?
Echoes of Echoes  Echolalia is a terrible thing to waste.
Massage  Another feckless poem.
Noodling  [This piece isn't done yet.]
Larger than Life  Don't let them do it to you.
Confusion  The explanation doesn't dispel the mystery.
Cipher  More list-making v. doing stuff stuff.
My Ordinary  Jus’ walkin’ and honin' my ‘tude, dude.
The Essence of the Ordinary  A sin of omission.
The Mind of God  Unscrupulous developers.
The Eye of the Beholder  They giveth with one hand...
This Nether Season  Of which I am disconcerned. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Someone Else  Acting the part.
The Gravity of Intimacy  Or, The Intimacy of Gravity.
Pieces of Conspiracy Theories  Extrapolating meaning from events?
College Collage  Piecing it together.
Avoiding the Abyss  Lightening up.
Always a Potential  The past is never really past until you forget it.
More Lists, More Symptoms  They're really the same damn thing.
Safety Zones  A home is a terrible thing to waste.
An Idle Dream  Another Terminator nightmare.
Intimate Contact  A metaphor.
A Matter of Attitude  I'm a victim of SDD (self-definition deficit).
More Polemics  You can't help the helpless.
Welcome to the Twilight Zone  Hey, where did everybody go?.
Post-apocalyptic Strategies for Living  Down the corporation.
Next Fantasy Please  Somehow, reality fits in there somewhere.
The Dream is Gone  Change in belief is not belief in change. Huh?
The Illusion of Morality  Reasoning is not necessarily all that rational.
Disorganized Organizers and Different Kinds of UFOs  A theory of the G-spot and other unidentified fuzzy objects.
Sociable People  Maybe some day...
Unexpected Change  The society inside my head is being nice to me.
Not With A Bang  I know have CRS, but I can't remember what it is.
Right or Wrong  Thought is evolved feeling and thus is more advanced.
Fed Up  I ain't gonna stand for it.
The Big Shake  The futile fantasy of piecing together peace together.
Campaign Strategy  Fantasy is a terrible thing to waste.
A New Year's Dream  Same old same old.
Twelve Years of Solitude (And Counting)  An empty white room full of nothing but existence.
The Monkey Dance  Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe.
The Illusion of Freedom  It's the way of the world.
The Emptiness of Time  Welcome to the age of mere opinion.
Heaven Can Wait  Procrastination is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Epilogue: Googling  It's a big bad small small world.
One Step Ahead (And Two Steps...?)  The raw, unbridled power of the unconscious mind.
Psychological Investment  A diamond mine of a mind.
Dream a Little Dream  Chandler Bing and his talking dog.
Alternate Dimensions  Tucked away inside of curliques.
Star Child  If only.
Haze  We never know what will happen next.
A Better Place To Be  Next stop: the nursing home?
Insignificant Distinction  Pain Kills.
Abide With Me  But don't sit on the edge of my bed when I'm sleeping, dude.
I Doubt  "I cause more trouble than trouble's caused me."
I'm Great/I Ain't  I'm the resident madman.
Procedural  The Yeti in the Spaghetti.
You Don't Need a Weatherman...  I always have to be re-inventing the wheel.
Paradox  I sleep too much; but I never get enough sleep.
Same Old Story  Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.
Random Spleen  Maybe I should be doing something else.
The Appearance of Normality  Alligator lizards in the air.
Shit  Lapsed attention is one of my primary difficulties.
Hidden Reality  An alternate existence of enormous complexity.
Pinpoint Singularity  Cosmological mysteries.
A Right To Know  An event sociologique.
How It Should Be  A wonderful affair.
Thought Forms  Something must be going on.
Neither Here nor There  I'm living in a different world than everybody else.
Small Victories  And sometimes the victories are large.
Epilogue  A random exercise in wasting time.
Ideas Are Everywhere  Just another excuse.
I Believe  Looking at the world through joo-joo eyeballs.
My Mission  "Out there" somewhere.
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?  Political incorrectness in the post-enlightenment era.
More Symptoms  Trying to let it all go again.
The Morning After Before  We always want to attribute motive to our existence.
One Last Time  Just like anyone else.
The Entirety of the Universe  I have very low physical and social standards.
Abilities and Disabilities  I am a walking, talking, acting contradiction.
The Stress, And How To Get It  People deserve what they get. Me too.
Survival Ideas Redux  and my desire to maintain my status quo existence.
My Tao  Flintstone style.
Competition  I know what I'm talking about.
A Great Job  ...if you feel you really must work.
Literal Separation  The world is not so clear-cut as we want to believe.
Bad-Moutning Bitch  Everything is just Rosie.
A Sub-Culture of One  Testing. Testing. One. Two...
Jealousy  My awesome appearance.
Beforehand  I am not a liberal.
My Variable Psychology  Gone too far.
My Compromise(s)  Good night, my little Roseanne Roseannadana.
Stoppage  Another big projection.
You Can't Have One Without the Other  Fuck them all, and fuck you too.
Survival Mode  More or less just coping.
Catch Me If You Can  The day is fast approaching.
Seeing Three Sara(h)s  Another episode.
My Sci-Fi Life  The past in the present or the present in the past.
Discursive Winter Mentality  I will get back to it--someday.
More intransigence  Human identification and the anachronism of exclusivity.
Intransigence  It's a bitch.
Seasonal Dreams  My life is cyclical, and without a plot.
The Fantasy of Celebrity Worship  I wish they would call me.
Unconscious Advice  Accomplishing goals through the art of relegation.
We Are Never Really Free (of Ourselves)  How to socialize (a little bit).
The Twinkling of an Eye  Nothing happens when everything stays the same.
High Winds and Ill Feeling  It's a good day to stay in bed.
Zombie Mentality  Escape through awakening.
Dire Prophesies  "The only thing new in the world is the history you don't know."
Manipulative Psychology  Ignorance is bliss.
When I Was Young  Dispelling illusions.
Sin-Eater  Getting inside my head.
A Sign  Full vacation mode.
Action Plan  A perennial vacation.
I Want Don't Want To, Both  Wait is just a four letter word.
The Lawnmower Incident  Empowerment in the face of anxiety.
Most of the Time  I feel safe and secure.
Living in the Cracks  We have become like our enemies.
1984 redux  The American government is broken.
And Speaking of King George  The universal appreciation of the cosmic dolphins.
It's a Family Affair  This is my kind of holiday after all...I guess
The New Mystery  What am I supposed to do, now that I've done what I was supposed to do?
Groggy and Laconic  We all get what we set ourselves up to get.
On Any Holiday  Up all night.
Assholes!  Revisiting stress.
Purely in the Past  Revisionist personal history.
Museum of Dreams  Or maybe I mean circus.
Lah Dee Dah  I wish I were a rich man.
Arrogance and Nostalgia  I got too much satisfaction.
You Don't Know Dick  Good writing skills are essential.
The Bearable Malleability of Reality  Effective dreaming in an unreal world.
The Real Problem  I don't care. It just doesn't matter.
Freedom For Sale  Just the facts, please.
Across the Universe  Heaven on Earth in the gardens.
Heavenly  But certainly not here on Earth.
Freedom is Free  Big Ben gets clocked.
Friends and Enemies  and the function of dreaming up a new life.
An Approach to Life  Do leopards really ever change their spots?
Slave Driver  Cast in the same mold?
Dreaming a Crazy Life  and trying to remember it.
Another Dream  Feelings of both accomplishment and frustration.
An Unfolding Experience  hidden away inside me, in my dreams.
Acting Hysterically  We think we understand what's going on.
Memorials  Searching for permanence in the face of change.
PBS Special  Affluence in the land of plenty.
Lost  Hidden beneath a lot of overgrowth.
Sweating It Out  All the days roll into one long entropy.
A Kind of Fool  Society is a lot of bother..
I Love Cheese  The terrorists that haunt me.
Growing (up)  I don't want to do it.
Approach/Avoidance  Looking for attention.
In The Blood  That's what they all say.
Reviewing  At a distance.
Fixing Things  The simple breakage of tools.
An Unconscious God  Anxiety v. trust in the age of reason.
A Tough Heritage  I am not my mother any more.
Dreams Not Forgotten  Honesty is not always the best policy.
Losing It  I love this kind of stuff.
A Perfectly Cluttered Mess  The essence of leisure: my compromise and my distraction.
Supercilious Dogma  Please, God, let me die with my eyes open.
Objectivity  Solving all my problems
In Pursuit of Libido  Now who didn't know that?
Symptoms  There's a message here. I can just feel it.
Spinning Logic  Another horror of a poem. I'm incorrigible.
Consequences  The past becomes the future.
Scripts  Piddling in the Puddle of Opinion.
The Psyche and the Nature of Reality  We are not alone.
Springing  Flying in the face of society.
Little Single Person  I am a powerful individual phenomenon.
Reptilian Predators  I think, therefore I dream.
My Fault?  The repetitive nature of dreams.
My Own World Apart  An amalgam of pastpresentfuture.
A Simple Episode  Dreaming my past into my future.
Meditations  Art is a poor substitute for life.
Right Here  Doing the best I can.
It Could Happen  A "scientific" theory of "contact."
Conventional Wisdom  A sane and sequestered life.
Consolidating My Work (Ideas)  My writing procedure.
Dreaming My Life Away  One big ball of wax.
Just a Dog  Crossing the line.
More Novel Crap  Toward a more studied technique.
Another Day, Another Dream  A brief self-deception.
Brief Interlude  Warm and cozy.
Sequestered  Is Parmesan real cheese?
The Effect of Caffeine on a Man in the Midst of Mood Swings  The sad affair of caffeine withdrawal.
Fogged In  Get it while you can. It won't be here much longer.
More Whining Episodes  Another story altogether.
Dealing with Anxiety  A procedure.
The Future is Now  Anxiety and Asperger's Syndrome.
Episodes  The discrete incidents of life.
The Illusion of Harmony v. Cacophony  "Tomorrow's just your future yesterday."
(mis)understanding  People think my ideas are crazy.
Full of Crap  Family problems.
One Big Dick  Hanging on.
A Brief Diversion  A silly but enlightening and satisfying thing to do.
Snark  It's wasted by the young and abused by lame old farts.
Ultimate Detachment  I will never forget what's-his-name.
Emergent Science  Problem-solving as a way of life.
The Identity of a Separate Existence  My science of psychology.
Presence and the Illusion of Solitude  Transcending Imperfection.
Interpreting Existence  Chasing an illusion.
Time Management  My mind has always been my greatest asset.
Time and Energy  The two poles of universal life.
A Contemplative Life  Still looking for a career (or something like it).
Overwhelming Data  Still crazy after all these years.
Get Over It  I think we're all disabled on this bus.
Too Bad  Waiting as a form of avoidance.
Bit by Bit  Minimal progress is progress nonetheless.
The Significance of Insignificance  Two basic states of mind.
Life as an Art Box  The repetitive nature of (my) dream(s).
Society Killed the Noveling Star  (Not really. It just maimed him a little bit.)
Sort Of  A spontaneous genetic modification?
Sociability  If that's all it takes...
Work in Progress  Trying to put an end to this particular persistent train of thought and get around to something a bit more immediately productive.
Inappropriate  Some further thoughts on Asperger's.
Inside Out  I am everything I write.
A Better Method, Pt.2  I'm all worked out for now.
Return of the Fish God  A kind of reverse psychology.
A Better Method, Pt. 1  My own personal inquisition.
Eluding the Inquisition  Encoding secrets and wasting time.
Attention  Self-awareness and my books of disguises.
Channeling  Where do these ideas come from anyway, really?
Encapsulating Existence  Understanding self through others' histories, and other disparate phenomena.
And Life Goes On  Some anti-conclusions.
Later Analysis  Posted retrospectively.
A Moment of Synchronicity  A lifetime of interpretation.
Withdrawal Symptoms  A family problem?
The Myths of the Ages  A New Age Prayer.
Prejudice  What goes around, comes around.
Helpless People  Let's keep a close eye on that governmental god.
Interpretation  The entire world is spin(ning).
The Good Old Days  The bane of my existence.
No-Win Situation  Insomnia is a terrible thing to waste.
Conspiracy  Is it worth losing sleep over?
Dysfunctional Familiarity  Most of the people I am are dissatisfied with the changes.
Gray Area  Inquiring minds want to know.
Somewhat Wasted Time  Self-defeating behavior.
In The News  Things I know.
The Opposite Direction  Yet another stupid poem.
Nobody Knows  We have met the enemy, and he is in the White House.
Cross-Conversation  What's Zen got to do with it?
The Common Sense of Friendship  I must be here for some reason.
Another Bad Poem  Well, This one's not so bad, really. Just boring.
Time and Place  Precognition isn't what it used to be. It's more like postcognition now.
Mind-Boggling  Star-gazing and file-trading.
Two Lost Souls  A dream solution.
More Common Sense  Some holiday repetitions.
Conspiracy Theory  This is absolute craziness. Or else that's exactly what they want you to believe.
Starting Point  Before it escalates, it has to begin somewhere.
Social Activism  for a better government and/or society.
The Fall Syndrome  A Richard Lewis kind of character.
False Beginning  The cyclic nature of (my) experience.
Will Technology Kill the Democracy Star?  Love it or leave it.
Ingrained Division  A fundamental schizoid orientation.
Supply and Demand  The more you hide away, the more people want to know you.
Switch Baiting  It's a defense mechanism.
Wrong Number  Seeing my neighbors as myself.
Two Dreams  An Arab is more than a terrorist.
Return to Social Concern  You are what you are, forever.
The Air Up There  Someone is trying to tell me something.
No Love Lost  A nightmare scenario proceeding from the zeitgeist anomie.
Motivation Problem  The barbarians inside the gate.
RIP  Heat exhaustion.
The Whole Point  Is the medium really the message, after all?
The World, the Flesh, and Cecelia  Don't trust these people.
An Image to Maintain  Just passin' thru.
A Natural Discipline  The nebulous nature of reality.
Wasting Time  Working in retrospect.
Rambling Fantasies  A lack of focus and a lot of other bunk.
Life is Cheap  and hot, and sometimes intolerant.
A Jolt of Reality  Passive-aggression in the face of a minor authority figure.
Rebuilding  What to do when the roof falls off.
Seeking Peace  Especially in dreams.
Taking Better Care  It's time for a rest.
Passive Resistance  Stay a bit away from me. I got a knife.
An Unfettered Mind  Living a sci fi kind of life.
Child Abuse  It's not your father's world any more.
The Garden of Eden  is here somewhere amid the foliage.
Excessive Caution  An interesting summer.
To Write, Perchance to Dream  Reality is just another dream; or is that the other way around?
Astrology  "Prediction is difficult, especially about the future."
Doing It With Robots  It's a matter of balance.
Exhaustive Overachievement  It's all an education, no matter what.
Visions of Sugarplums  Postmod life is so much easier.
Hope Springs Periodical  Oh, well.
Self-Medication  Rationalization is a terrible thing to waste.
A Different Kind of Life  Not paying close enough attention.
Stand-Off  It's not just me.
A Reticence to Act  Life as one long, continuous party.
Confrontation  The educated, intelligent entity that I (think I) am.
Unconventional Needs  I hate myself for loving me.
Moving On  Into more of the same?
Rambling along the Road to Recovery or A Bunch of Wild Onions  Disappointment as defense against family demons.
Survival of the Fittest  It ain't what it used to be.
Social Failure  Feeling sorry for myself.
An Entirely Unconscious Motive  Worrying about what the neighbors think.
An Unreasonable Productive Attitude  The nagging outsider that disapproves of everything you do.
Disguises  People are so predictable.
A Story Idea  Why Bother?
The World Remembered, Vaguely  A lack of transition.
Presque Vu  The dream of life.
Toward a more Perfect Communion  The disguise of self-involvement.
Hypersensitivity and its Precursors  A confusing mix of (dys-)functional modes.
The Re-mythologicalization of America  On the apparent incompatibility between science and religion.
Incorrigibly Schizoid  Self-reflection through the images of others.
Post-Explanation  I'm back; but I'm still in the past.
Indecency  A vindictive, nasty explicative.
For Now  The exact interpretation eludes me.
Projection  Nothing is what it seems to be.
Planning  It's better than working.
19 Film Blurbs  Under Suspicion, In the Heat of the Night, Lord of the Flies, Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure, Othello, Shadow Conspiracy, Gideon, Confessions of a Hitman, Snow Dogs, That Darn Cat, My Best Friend's Wedding, Heathers, The Little Kidnappers, Home Fries, Black Knight, Leviathan, The Fly, Random Encounter, A Perfect World
For What They're Worth  New additions to the FAQ page.
Two Poems  I'm incorrigible.
On My Way  Sooner or later I get tired of everything.
Winds of Change  Abdicating my civic responsibility.
A Late Developer  A little bit of whining.
Remnants of a Unified Whole  Plot and character as aspects of self.
She Knows  Beating around the bush.
A Fictive Past  Dream life is more interesting than reality.
In The Year 2023  A difficult prediction.
Hot Dogs and Fish  Not really what they seem to be.
The Five People You Meet in Heaven  A film review.
25 Film Blurbs  (I'm trying to catch up.) Haunted Honeymoon, Boondock Saints, Shrek, Samantha: An American Girl Holiday, Mr. Deeds, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Flinch, Dead Heat, Morning Glory, Lonely Hearts, Flirting, 40 Days and 40 Nights, Undercover Blues, Rock My World, A Murder of Crows, Crossroads, The Pact, Mulholland Falls, Drive Me Crazy, For the Moment, A Walk to Remember, The Last Ride (the new one), The Last Ride (the old one), Chase (aka Death Chase), Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Contradictions  Writing it all down.
My Perfect World  If the rich were not quite so rich, the poor wouldn't be quite so poor.
Digging Out a Problem  Gross misgivings.
The Institution  One side of me appears to be okay.
Sexual Without Sex  Another Dickinson comparison.
Hypocritical Idealism  Resistance to breaking down partitions.
A House in the Hills  Anxiety and trepidation in the woods.
Saving Souls  My ostensible life.
Bucking the System  A dream film scenario.
The Dark Force  Rediscovering the fear.
Abe Lincoln and the Contentedness of Being  We'll have a gay old time.
Happy and Content  A meditative dream.
Trespassing  More relationship concerns.
Just One of the Dogs  Dogs are people too.
Intuitive Research  There's more here than meets the eye.
Only Human  A dream movie.
At The Barriers  A discriminating perception.
Pure Genius  An arrogant comparison.
A Brief Interlude  Rhona Mitra and the marching band.
Real Work  Cream naturally rises to the top.
A Nice Neat Bedroom  Development and difficulties of a single individual organism toward a ubiquitous understanding of the nature of the universe and/or reality.
Big Black Rubber Dildo  I'm getting ready to dump the tea.
Emily Dickinson as a Postmodern Zen Prototype  Ego dissolution's positive correlation to presence and negative correlation to ennui.
A Simple Act of Will  Trying to get out of my head.
Disembodied Spirit  The physical world sucks.
Repressed Arrogance  People are a drag.
Stacked Deck  Support corporate dismantlement.
An American Shame  A New Years' Day lecture
Things Behind the Sun  A film review
Nine Film Blurbs  Deceiver, Les Randonneurs, Living Large, Brokedown Palace, Joe's Apartment, Hoods, Hologram Man, Bad Moon, Traveller
Flu Shots  The same old thing --part two.
Nothing New  The same old thing.
In The Half Light  A book review.
Surrogate Enemies  Security starts at home.
Capital  How the rich stay rich.
Twenty-Eight New Film Blurbs  Papy Fait de la Resistance, Breaking Up, Waking Ned Devine, Militia, Thunder Point, Sketch Artist, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Shooting Elizabeth, Deadly Rivals, Road Trip, Open Range, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, October Sky, The Pilot's Wife, Primary Suspect, Set It Off, You Can Count On Me, Shopping For Fangs, Just Write, Hanging Up, Foolish, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Pay It Forward, The Mothman Prophecies, Red Corner, Blue Tiger, Skin Deep, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Biased  against assholes.
Animal Genetics  Defeating the purpose.
Enemy Women  A book review.
Illegal in Amerika  Turning on the dopamine receptors.
We're Gonna Get Ya, Sucka  One way or another.
Blow Me  Same-sex marriages.
The $elling of Amerika  Remember Nixon?
Success  The ability to change v. the ability to remain the same.
Outlandish Ideas  A means of diverting money to the upper classes.
28 Film Blurbs (I'm catching up)  Dream Lover, Scissors, The Legend of Bagger Vance, Daisy Miller, Deep Cover, A Thief of Time, Meet Wally Sparks, Splitsville, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them, Legally Blonde, Somewhere Tomorrow, One from the Heart, After Alice, The Miracle Worker, Princess of Thieves, The Astronaut's Wife, Excessive Force, Dangerous Game, See You in my Dreams, Soul Survivors, Patch Adams, Permanent Midnight, Spellbinder, Shark in a Bottle, Race the Sun, The Soul Collector, Practical Magic, AI: Artificial Intelligence
Fuck George Bush  Insecurity creates animosity.
Life's a Dream  We had better learn to love ourselves, because it's all we have, really.
Time To Refocus  I'm beginning to feel a little bit of nagging now, that something is wrong beneath the summer affect that makes everything seem so right.
On The Record  Mad cows and politicians.
Out Too Much  Things haven't gone my way so much today.
I Feel Fine  A little bit of unexpected work.
Corresponding Significance?  Landscaping and swimming.
Hidden Messages  What we think, what we are, what we wanna be.
Any More  The sense of sameness persists.
This Strange Guy  It's almost like I'm two different people but don't know it most of the time.
Doing v. Being Done  Day in, day out, I create an ongoing art that is my life.
Visitors  Making alcohol and the art of dream interpretation.
I Don't Know  Which came first, the chicken or the horse? I may be putting the cart before the egg again.
Get Off The Island  A wild and wonderful world.
Complex Connection  I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once. And other contemptible ironies.
Brew and Simple Bigotry  A 'fuck you' kind of day.
Winemaking  A new room deodorizer.
Beermaking  An ambitious project.
Ditto  I stayed up all night painting.
Overly Sensitive?  Rerouting video cables like relationships.
Difficult Women  A complex, multi-aspected dream.
Screw It  I kind of like looking a little bit pale and nerdy.
Thank you, George W. Bush  Enabling the development of my detachment from the illusion of being.
Life Forms  A poem.
Celebrities  Hysteria-phenomena and a dream.
Strange Phenomenon  You only get one chance, and this is it.
Morally Superior?  A perfect example.
Birth  Some people still don't know the cause.
Defying Authority  Affirming my right not to wear pants.
A Fundamentally Flawed Agenda  Time is closing in for a second civil war.
Sex Therapy  A particularly affective dream.
Two Related Dreams  Digging up the past.
Put Upon  I hate commitment.
Conduit  What does it mean?
Home-Grown Terrorists  The kinds of mind games the FBI plays is a definite form of psychological abuse.
I Like to Watch  Watching people's lives from afar is so much safer and saner than relating to people face to face.
Ronald Ray-Gun  The media has lost its way as the arbiter of American freedom.
A Film Review  The 5th Element
Acquired Foreign Accent Syndrome  It's a theory.
A Neurosis, Not a Psychosis  I have to learn to deal with this, before the OCD drives me crazy.
Two Film Blurbs  Clockwatchers, Cats & Dogs
A Metaphor  Rewiring and adapting the world to my lifestyle.
Duct Tape Blues  The world sucks, and it's not my fault.
A Motive  I am so excited, just to be alive.
Strange Neighbors  I think we're all strangers on this bus.
Transhuman  Superiority is in the eye of the beholder.
A Demanding Pre-occupation  There's always something in there.
I'm Okay  Too bad about the rest of the world.
Just Ideas  I am advancing. I am learning. I am testing out ideas. I am fantasizing. I am dreaming. It's all becoming the same thing any more, more or less.
Another Paradox  Vote the bastards out.
All or Nothing  Another collection of random opinions.
Simple Solution?  One of those paradoxes of life.
Stray Cats, Stray Plants, and Rainy Days  Less guilt, more satisfaction as life goes on.
I Paint, Therefore I Am  And a few other odd thoughts.
sunwheel  Another haiku.
Pastiches  An additional paragraph added to an old idea that I've been allowing to lapse.
Full Time  I'm slowly converting my lifestyle into studio art.
A Completed Goal  The disadvantage of creating without a venue.
Instinctual Games  Dreaming my life away.
Now  It all belongs to you.
The Herd Instinct  I don't get it.
I Flounder  You think I'd learn.
Six Film Blurbs  Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, Kill Me Again, Dark Side of the Sun, Prime Suspect 2, Secrets, A Wrinkle in Time
Withdraw and Recon  Very short entry. Not worth the trouble.
Obvious Racism  It's the way we think of ourselves.
Something More  Missing forms of expression.
Full Days  A satisfying life.
Mental Phenomena  Dismissing the value of others' lives.
A Dilemma  The existence of others.
A Thought  Restricted writing in order to think differently.
Minor Setbacks  There must be something in the air.
A Much Freer Time?  There's nothing to be paranoid about.
Helping People  My conscious attempt to devoid myself of hangers-on.
My More Perfect Life  It's my time. I'll do what I want with it.
A Perverse Fantasy  If ever I felt it necessary to commit suicide...
A Christian Nation?  They need to practice it because they haven't yet got it right.
Indian Giver Summer  An old semi-poem (The line breaks have been sacrificed.)
Getting So Much Done  I don't have time for this.
Reptilian Dreams  Isn't this what we all do, in one way or another?
Mutual Envy  Art is personal expression.
Two New Bad Poems  "Appreciation for Emily" and "Too Tired To Tango"
No more...  An old mentality that I seem to have outgrown--and this was only four years ago.
Manic Being Manic.  It feeds itself.
Scheduling  This is my pathology.
Free-Floating Anxiety  An unsettling dream.
Cool.  Planning a winter harvest.
Am I God, Or What?  Another nice evening.
Mythic Independence  A poem I wrote four years ago and just got around to posting.
A Patently Offensive Post?  A nice evening's work and a few edgy thought.
My Submission  An old e-mail.
The Pledge of Allegiance  Appreciation of the right to be free, even of religion.
Erratic Art  I wish I were a better, more consistent artist.
San Francisco  Hey, Cisco. Hey, Pancho. Let's went.
Something's Wrong  I'll stay in an oppressive social situation, but not so conventional a one. Ask the Irish.
Cleveland Rocks  Some kind of heaven.
Life Is But A Dream  Catching the last moments of the sunset.
Seven Film Blurbs  Gunshy, Almost Famous, Swordfish, Fatal Affair, Prime Suspect, Love at Large, Walking Across Eqypt
Art as an Escape  It's a hard realization to come to that I really don't want to be read so much as I just want to write.
Random Thoughts  The blood-thirsty, ubiquitous, spiritual experience of sandwiched carbohydrates.
More Evidence  Unless you're selling something in this country, you're not worth much, are you?.
It Sounds Right  Expectation of rejection (proceeding from the basic primal split) leads to depression (sadness), which in turn creates the situation/state that provokes, a la a self-fulfilling prophecy, actual present-time rejection (or unwarranted feelings of it), thereby amplifying the depression?
Foreign Programming  I don't like things lying around in my old journals unused. So I post them wherever I can.
Putting Things in Order  I'm reestablishing a long-abandoned motive.
Chain of Evidence  We each do the best we can, whether we want to believe it or not.
You Asked Me  Anyone who speaks in public makes their words my business.
Dreamtime  Everything is not what it seems.
Back to Work  It's a good thing I'm not controversial.
A Diet of Worms  An offensive idea?
You Know What I Mean?  It is no accident that the worst president in the history of the United States turns out to be a fundamentalist Christian.
Coming Out Of It  This is the spring, when this kind of dualistic attitude prevails.
Hope and Futility  Forget me. I'm defective.
Nasty Little World  Re my withdrawal and relative isolation.
Seven Film Blurbs  Stranded, Breathing Lessons, The Lost Child, Plainsong, Robinson Crusoe, Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness, Space Cowboys
A Book Review  Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Value of Ideas.  As we learn of our inner workings, as we intuit more deeply, we evolve to the point where we begin to know more directly what is in others' minds.
In The Zone, or The Art of Being (Better than Everybody Else)  How not to excel within the postmodern capitalist system without dropping out.
Waiting Out Winter  Once, I didn't eat for three days, unknown to anyone, in order to hone an edge of passive resistance.
Spring Poetry  It smells.
It Begins  I'm in heaven.
Guru You  It's been two years already. Move on.
Stop the Victimization  Refuse to accept the way things are.
Lost  It seems like it has to be either them or me.
The Essence of Spring  Safety, security, and dead animals.
Nothing Left to Prove  A consequent lack of motivation.
A High Wind  Scattered and uninspired.
Despondent  Trying to collate disparate information.
Not Quite Yet  Another wasted opportunity.
Maybe Tomorrow  A very short, bad excuse.
Almost Cut My Hair  A short addition to an old, long pastiche. (I'm still trying to catch up here, folks.)
Eight Film Blurbs   Final Combination, The Perfect Wife, Pilgrim, Angels Don't Sleep Here, Along Came a Spider, What Lies Beneath, Top of the World, U.S. Seals II
The Future is Now  An intended livejournal post that got away from me and never got posted.
Lies and Diversions  I think I need to get a life.
Feeling and Knowing  I live oblivious to it all, the genocide as well as the communion.
Dept. of Non-Responsive Responses  The loss of future business.
I Abstain  Look somewhere else for your answers.
The Climax/Resolution  Dark thoughts for dark days.
Delicious Decadence  Dreams, jazz writing, and daytime sleep.
If Only...  Another old post. Too fantastic.
Three Book Reviews   How to Make Your Analyst Love You, Angels & Demons, The Da Vinci Code
Easter Day  Putting the cart before the egg.
Another Back-Post  Trying to develop the fantasy as a form of art.
The Amerikan GEheimeSTAtzPOlitzi   Another subject entirely.
Jayne Mansfield   I'm caught up and backtracking again, trying to get old journal entries online. This is one from 2000, a part of the unfinished "Personals" pastiche.
Fulfillment   A dream movie, an mp3 player, and knitting needles.
A New FAQ   I think, therefore I think I am what I am not.
Unconsciously Cool   Condi Rice and my childhood self-perception.
Further Insights on Identity   The great universal secret, and a few other minor observations.
Insights   It doesn't rain but it pours, nowhere in the universe.
Aha!   Another little enlightenment.
Sixteen Film Blurbs   Sketch Artist II: Hands That See, A Huey P. Newton Story, The Haunting, Across the Moon, Contaminated Man, Capoblanco, Proof of Life, The Deli, American Heart, NTSB: The Crash of Flight 323, The Lost Patrol, Dreamkeeper, Sounder, Johnny Reno, Walter and Henry, No One Could Protect Her, No One Could Protect Her
Two Book Reviews   The Sadness of Sex and Death in Venice and Other Stories
A Symptom of Something   I don't know what, exactly.
Nearer to the Mean   Dream interpretation.
Social Skills and Small Talk   How about all this rain we've been having lately, huh?
Burn, Baby, Burn   I do not pledge allegiance to the flag.
Watch Out for Orthodoxy   Exceeding another threshold analogous to that of self-awareness.
Falling Short?   Squeezing out the soul-juice.
The Illusion of Variability   A false sense of security.
Stupid Kids   Knowing without knowing.
Leaders   My animal nature.
My Proactive Solution   This journal (thoughthistory, the full version) is the place where anything might show up.
Film Blurb   Two if by Sea
A New Diet   Don't try this away from home.
Chipping Culture   I can't not watch.
On Keeping a Journal   Writing out all this crap.
Existing   The West Wing, The Practice, pizza, and chocolate.
Anticipation   It's What They Do.
Glorious Relief   Scratching an itch you don't have.
A Misplaced Sense of Rebellion   Women are like parking spaces...
The Trap   Awareness has a high price.
Zen Stories   I don't understand what's been going on exactly.
My Grandmother's House   A recurrent dream.
Compatibility   A kind of chemistry.
Age Discrimination   Waiting to be fired.
Shit!   The civil disobedience to come.
One Of These Days   Tending to preserve the status quo in the face of an inclination to drastically alter my appearance.
Seven Film Blurbs   Lush Life, Alice, Nailed, Dr. Doolittle, Route 9, The Green Mile, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
All the Time Now   I'm definitely progressing.
Typical   I've felt doubtful, worried, anxious, fearful, paranoid, insecure, etc. all my life.
Just Surviving   But no longer lost in an alien world.
A Complete One-Eighty   Learning all over again how to interact.
Interconnection   Dreaming my life away.
Catching Up   Time for another Boston tea party.
Nobody Expects the Spanish Nap Depression   I need caffeine, but I don't need speed.
Dangerous Minds   The New Fascist Amerikan Regime.
Support Corporate Dismantlement   Zen psychoanalytics and the art of turning on, tuning in, and dropping out.
FAQ   What are you now, politically holy? AND You act so superior. What do you think you are, some kind of political guru?
I Am Not A Success Object   I complain about lack of motive for long periods of time, and then when I find it, I complain about having too much.
The Imp of Digital Perverse   The failure of the laptop throws me into a funk, and other related topics.
14 Steps for a Highly Productive Life   Highly proprietary and idiosyncratic info.
An Integrated Planetary Community   Or, How To Love Your Work
I Set It Back Down   The incoherent babblings of a tv cooking show.
A Film Review   All Tied Up
I Set It Up   Picking up a lot of stitches, literally and metaphorically.
Olivia   A role model
Vote the Bastards Out!   Leave my retirement alone.
you too   A poem.
The Eternal Narcissist   The myth of independence.
Obliquely-Related Phenomena   Paranoia, Reichfuhrer Bush, and the suffering of Jesus.
Ten Film Blurbs   The King and Queen of Moonlight Bay, Audrey's Rain, Custody of the Heart, Final Countdown, Me and Mrs. Jones, Missing Children: a Mother's Story, Santa Fe, Michael Collins, Stagecoach, No Contest II: Access Denied
Privacy v. Sociability   My right to be free from you.
Politics   Love it or leave it.
Random Thoughts   A few reactions to items in the news and on tv.
Coincidence?   All opportunity is merely a matter of expectation, which monitors the environment for cues to what you want to find.
Everyman Psychologist   My anti-authoritarianism is going to get me into trouble.
Real Eternity   It only lasts for a moment.
A Tropical Atmosphere   It's no wonder that introjections (like political manipulations or biased reporting) that I don't welcome feel so cold to me.
Coincidence   The world is so very boring when we think we understand it.
The Efficacy of a Free Mind   I certainly could use that these days.
The Power of Film   A short note. Not worth the trouble.
Gladiator   A film review.
Superficial Psychology   There's a place for this sort of analysis in the scheme of self-interpretation--as a starting point.
A New Way of Life   I am better off than when I was working and unable to appreciate my life.
Spinal Inflamation and the Art of Ongoing Being   The mind is a wonderful self-deluding mechanism. I guess I'll just go with my gut feelings.
Eight Film Blurbs   A Place for Annie, Hugo Pool, The Kissing Place, Candyman, Spy, Get on the Bus, Notting Hill, TripFall
Interconnections   Reality is not necessarily sanity.
Spam, Conspiracy, and Dieting   Maybe there is some kind of semi-conscious New Age communion going on.
The Lions of Winter   Three dreams.
Negotiating the Social Realm   Intruders are not welcome, but any more, if you intrude, I don't so much care, as long as you don't start complaining about what you find.
Negating Negation   There is no motivation, but motivation.
Dichotomy of Spirit   Wrapped up inside my head is peaceful existence split off from a world of chaos.
Some Randon Thoughts   Some of them topical, some archaic.
Thoughts on the nature of Femininity   Lesbians or closet women are always attracted to me, in a conflicted sort of way.
Farces of Relationships   Is it advancement, or just more of the same old thing?
Meaningless Sentiment   We all have something original to say, but does it all mean anything.
Professional Credentials   Maybe this is the new oxymoron.
Lurking Infections?   Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.
Politicians, Businessmen, and Gamblers   Oh, my.
the value of repetition at five a.m.   A semi-prose poem.
Circumspection   Winter separation
Sugar Hangover   wtf?
Donuts   Energy expended is expended energy.
My Christ   An attempt to differentiate between the science and superstition of religion.
That's How They Stay Rich   A short primer on a confused populist.
He Ain't Heavy, He's...   No, that's not true. Damn is he heavy.
Rights, Fantasies, and the Ongoing Consistency of Science   Life is life and art is art, but science is a whole other thing.
My Brain, My Business   "...comments transpiring in my brain."
Going Private   Critics, meta-beings, and the war on terrorism.
Social Putz   Scripting as a means of socializing.
Hiding Out   Short, but significant.
The Focus of my Art   I used to ramble more poetically.
Fuck You   Defeat their noxious agendas.
It's Too Dangerous   We deceive ourselves into thinking that others know us only to the extent that we do not know ourselves.
Six Film Blurbs   Wildcat Canyon, Gossip, American Pie, Bones, Liar Liar, Meet the Parents
Documenting Dreams   Should I start again? I don't know.
Trivial Differences   Any place is the same as any other place.
Inconsistency   It's impossible to take a stand on multiple issues that seem to be related without being inconsistent.
Effectiveness is Only an Illusion   Life was far better when art happened to me instead of me creating it.
Unknown Love   This description is totally inadequate.
a change of season   A poem.
Dopplegangers   They're not pod-people; they're just you and me all over again.
The End Is Near, Again   DAs, agents, and cops are nearly as much of a problem to the law-abiding citizens as the criminals are.
Unconscious Vengeance   I need to discover how I might act in more positive ways within the society of people.
Palpitations   Dreams are like being dead.
How Sad Is That?   Eccentricity is the relativity of the human psyche.
Assholes Are People Too   Another Not-Frequently-Asked Question.
War and the Art of Personality Maintenance   And freedom via Mozilla from my personal browser conflict.
Coffee and the Cold   Single-digit temperature and the deepening winter are getting to me again.
Honorable Profession   A case of reverse derogation?
The Benefits of Suffering   Look out there at that world of marginally dysfunctional people. You can immediately spot those who do not choose to suffer.
Another Schizoid Episode   It's a bitch not having been born a god.
Film Review   Cast Away
Psychological Sweat   There's something still to be said for adventure, isn't there?
Dark Side of the Sky   I'm not so compulsive as I want to make out, I suspect, when I constantly violate my own sense of purpose.
Five Film Blurbs   A Soldier's Tale, Phantoms, Seabiscuit, Money Kings, Angel's Dance
A Flame of Accomplishment   Scheduling your time is so-o-o boring.
Pacifist Terrorism   Saints are more likely to be Quakers than businessmen.
Spare the Dogs and Spoil the Child   If I'm so much more free than I ever have been, then why am I so self-restricting?
The Real New Year   I sniff my memory-shirt.
A Guy or a Girl   A chat excerpt.
Cloistered Life   I'm awake now. The demons of the night have been beaten back down once again.
The Blues   I have no real social network left; just society in general.
Too Much Family   A new direction.
Potential Basket Case   My brother is disrupting his family life again with his drinking.
Overextended   I'm regretting the commitment.
The Same Old Thing   Dream psychology, true love, and retro nastiness.
Five Film Blurbs   Brainscan, The Road from Coorain, The Santa Claus, Diabolique, I Love You...Don't Touch Me
Khamal's Transformation   Paranoia was always my best revelator.
Death and the People Who Desire It   Nothingness is also an illusion.
Management Whores and Heterosexual Bigots   I've got to get a girlfriend, at least for a day or two.
That Was Easy   Dreaming my life away.
I Keep Forgetting   Out of sync with nature, and myself.
Muckraking and Proxy Parenting   Liberals and kids fall through the cracks for a lot of different reasons.
Obsession   She could be anybody.
The Essence of Withdrawal   Remaining out of trouble.
Sociable   One of those funny words that doesn't necessarily mean what we think it does.
Vengeance   I wonder if this is really true.
Communal Existence   A more universal kind of love.
Strange Life   I'm sometimes amazed where my mind has taken me.
Guess Which One   Maybe I have ADD.
Tomorrow is Soon Enough   When they are all at work.
Geekery v. Nerdery   Will success spoil Rock Pekar?
Iraqi Reconstruction   The psychology of contract awards.
An Entirely Different Workplace   More often than we know, we think that we are someone else.
This Stuff is Scary   I might be coming down with something.
Grow Up   The guy can't handle defeat, and so this is a bad year for him.
Lifelong Reservation   My cycle of tergiversation is completed.
I Am Not Myself.   I am someone else.
Santa and Jesus. A Christmas Message.   We will not awaken to the fact of what we really are.
Periodic Wayward Psychology   The idea of a mass murdering rodent keeps popping into my head.
I Don't Buy It   Security and fraud in the Brave New World. Protect your right to keep and arm bears.
Nine Film Blurbs   Dead Man Walking, Man of the House, Twins, Riders of the Purple Sage, The Plague, Les Risque du Métier, Distant Thunder, Storyville, Mermaid
A Whole Other Ballgame   It seems I'll do anything to avoid characterizing myself as an ordinary, psychologically healthy individual.
My Normal Mode of Existence   An unconscious attempt to turn myself into a Native American?
I Think We're All Redskins on this Bus   I am every bit as much of a disenfranchised person as are our most displaced citizens.
Transference   As transferring and projecting entities, we are quite fragmented and alone.
Homework   A book review.
Transference. Take It or Leave It   Another FAQ.
The Use of Semicolons; or Norman Mailer Does It.   A new FAQ (that was asked only once; but once is fairly frequent for me).
Seventeen Film Blurbs   Sprung, A Time to Remember, Brilliant Lies, Navigating the Heart, Morgan's Ferry, Finding John Christmas, Little Women, Sarah Plain and Tall: Winter's End, Dude, Where's My Car?, Max Keeble's Big Move, Tortilla Soup, Skinwalkers, Promise, Decoration Day, Coyote Waits, Grace of My Heart, She's the One
The Addiction Escalates   I hope this isn't going to be detrimental.
Forever Young   I must be getting old to be thinking like this.
Back at Home   Something in me wants to shut me down.
Proper Education   This is not the first time that I've been caught in this trap.
The Nature of the Philosophy Business   I should, maybe, seek my brighter light.
Just Another Renegade?   Whatever happened to my positive self-image?
Demon Alcohol   It's not only sad memories that you lose when you're drinking to excess.
A Good Sign   Lending and Borrowing.
Rosie O'Donnell   I've never seen anything like this before.
Force of Habit   A new take on repression and various other matters.
Contention Convention   I may not have been righteous, but I was no worse than most of the employees in a generally contentious workplace.
Write On   Healing the basic schizoid split in my existence.
Dangerous Minds   Uneducated people don't realize their plight.
Energy Matters   Poetry would perhaps be a better forum.
So They Say   Preparing for the coming weather.
The Basic Lie of Modern Christianity   There are so many people set against the mere idea that we evolve.
A News Story   As I proceed, I quickly become involved in the details, wanting to elucidate them completely, rather than to simply list them in brief..
Abandoned Art   I don't mind that my legacy will be that I abandoned society; but I definitely don't want it to be that I abandoned myself.
Exactly Correct   Living a sane life.
An Extended Cold Front   I should do something about this recurrent problem of ennui, but I just don't care.
A Profound TV Commercial?   An eight-minute "in-depth" interview.
Multiple Universes   A theory of extra-dimensionality.
Dreaming My Life Away   We are our own worst enemies.
All War Is Wrong   Thank you very much.
Six Film Blurbs   Replacing Dad, April Morning, Pursued, Held Up, Exception to the Rule, Saving Jessica Lynch
The Howard Hughes Syndrome   He's laughing his dead ass off right now.
Still In Time   Someone's waiting for me, but it's only myself.
Late at Night   I have a definite love/hate relationship with postmodernism, especially of the media variety.
Momentarily   Keeping the faith.
Ironic Happenstance   "Until yesterday I thought irony was just the way the tap water tasted." [Red Green]
Shopping and Epitaphs   Ending up at the antipodes of literary history.
Five Film Reviews   Monster Makers, Murder with Mirrors, Rosewood, Follow the Stars Home, Phenomenon II
Cold Snap   A book review
Naive Notes   "Only an idiot would write something like that."
Pulled in Two Directions   Struggles within the divided psyche.
Recovering   Back to the present again.
Volunteers for America   Oh, have I gone too far again?
Periods of Inactivity   I plan ahead, that way I never have to do anything now.
Eternally Aware   An old piece added to Shards of Light.
Some Things Never Change   Like posting old notes to a website and pretending it's new material.
Nothing's Gonna Change My World   Thoughts on Halloween and other marginally related matters
Crossing The Bridge If You Come To It   I have a feeling that it's going to be a long winter.
Anxiety and Depression   Dreams have a way of coming true.
Six Film Blurbs   Tall Tale, The Case of the White Chapel Vampire; What Women Want; Sabrina, The Teenage Witch; Run the Wild Fields; The Canterville Ghost
It's Going to be Worth It.   More self and woodwork therapy.
More Rebellion   A defense against vulnerability.
The Rebel   The psychology of being rejected.
Waiting for Clarity   I've got this little thing I've learned to do lately.
Contingency Planning   Spamming spammers and other anxieties.
Instant Karma?   A stab from the past.
Suicide By Proxy   I think I could easily kill myself, but why would I ever want to?
A Dream Interaction   I may be doubtful, but I am also hopeful.
Wake Up, Brave New World   The future's been here for quite a while now.
Feelings of Eternal Youth   Ask Demi. She knows.
Self-Empowerment and the Myths of Sanctimonious People   Those of us who have seen through their little game must suffer in ignominy their eternally vainglorious psychology.
A Film Review   Bruno
The Howard Hughes Syndrome   We may have matured as a business planet, but we're still living with our age-old psyches.
Karmic Debt   I'd rather not be taken advantage of than be thought well of.
An issue I Need To Get Over   How do I go about it?
Once You Compromise Your Standards...   Whataya gonna do when you want to be productive, but your physiology will not permit it?
Repentance   Things are tough all over.
Duplicity   I hate this aspect of human nature.
I Have A Problem Finishing Things   When people become a meaningful part of your life, they remain a meaningful part of it forever, if only unconsciously.
Waiting   In anticipation of having to wait some more.
Learning How To Be In Love   Riding in a hansom cab with Gweneth.
Feeling Quite Pleased With Myself   Getting rid of an old unwanted truck.
Thirteen Film Blurbs   The Feud, Once Upon a Texas Train, Ring of the Musketeers, Goodbye Mr. Chips, Footsteps, Warrior Queen, Jane's House, Against Her Will: Incident In Baltimore, Red River, Ready To Rumble, The Tender, A Hero Ain't Nothin' but a Sandwich, Incident in a Small Town
Claustrophobia Inside the Crawlspace   Domestic organization before the onset of winter.
Other Guy's Clothes   We are all spirits in this dream world.
Don't Come Knocking At My Door   Just because one functions as a supernatural automaton does not mean that one is acting toward the cause of universal good.
Recurrent Dream Locations   Repressing dependence and security in order to feel free.
Pseudo-Self-Absorption: An Autonomous and Undifferentiated Whole   A study in (in)dependence.
Plots and Resolutions   The impish god of electronics and all things mechanical is at it again.
Book Review   A Quiet Life by Kenzaburo Oe.
The Schizoid Split   It's worked for me so far.

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