You don't love a woman because she is beautiful,
but she is beautiful because you love her.
- Anonymous
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We are attracted to people for the wrong reasons. Generally, we think they're something they're not. We want them to be different from what they are, closer to what we ourselves are, perhaps our own selves. We project ourselves onto them, when we are not so close, and then we discover they are not what we thought they were, which we were blinded to by our desire, to love, our own selves, ignored. At first, we ignore who they really are because we ignore who we really are; their faults are ours. Then, we begin to fall out of love with them, when we decide we can't accept them the way they are, unlike us, when we can't accept our difference as a better one, since we can't accept ourselves for what we really are: they are different from what we think we are, what we thought they were, us, an unknown mysterious hidden self we didn't know we are.
At the end of the road I live on, I meet and am attracted to a girl--or vice versa, i.e., she is attracted to me, and I respond. She looks like a cross between Meg Ryan and (a young) Sarah Jessica Parker. She says she'll take me up to the golf course, and she leads me by the hand up the hill. But she doesn't take me to the golf course. Instead, we skirt along it and go to her parent's house. I'm a bit intimidated about meeting her parents, but I act very sociably, as do they. I thought they might resent my presence, but they are glad to meet me. But something is strange about the situation that I can't quite put my finger on. Next, we go to a college, or a college-like institution. She needs to buy books for a class she is taking. But instead, we get a large technical-like book, like a manual for psychological resources. Then we go to an outside area, like a street in a neighborhood of an old town or city, where we meet other couples. Then, I go back to the college where I am enrolled in a therapy course with Rollo May. Another guy and I come in late and are given assignments by Rollo to read from his book, The Fury Within. Paragraphs and lines that we are supposed to read are underlined in red. I start to read, but I'm having a hard time understanding it.
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