QUESTIONABLE APPELLATION
Martin Luther King III petitions John Ashcroft to support legislation to remove former J. Edgar Hoover's name from the FBI's headquarters building. [CNN] {It's about time somebody started talking some sense. But, knowing the pc crowd, they'll probably end up going to the opposite extreme and renaming it something totally inappropriate, like the Martin Luther King, Jr. Building. (Actually, it'd be more pc to leave it as it is, as a tribute to America's cross-dressers.) So, why don't we compromise? I have a suggestion. How about the Alexander Haig Building. He always wanted to be more important than he actually was.}

FBI WANTS SENATE RECORDS
"The FBI wants senators to provide records of any contact with reporters on two days in June as part of a probe of leaks of classified information from the congressional investigation into September 11. One Senate source said some staffers are bothered by the fact that the FBI -- which itself is being investigated by a joint committee -- is now investigating those same committee members."[CNN] {It's becoming more and more obvious that this country is not working together on this "terror war." Or, as old Ben Franklin once said: "We must hang together, or surely we will hang separately." Or something like that. It's the thought that counts.}

END-TIME SCENARIO
Israel says it will retaliate if attacked by Iraqi missiles if and when the U.S. attacks Iraq. Thus, Israel will be involved in any Iraqi campaign. [Wash. Times] {Israel has to be involved in the end-time conflict for it to be Biblically valid.}

FAT CAN BE HEALTHY?
"When people see Phyllis Warr, a short, stout woman who tips the scales at more than 250 pounds they assume she's out of shape -- until she starts getting down on the dance floor. Cathy Davis Pannone weighs more than 300 pounds, but in the swimming pool she glides along with a grace that justifies her nickname -- cat. The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance has a new message to sell at its annual convention this week: 'Being fat doesn't mean you can't be fit.'" [CNN] {Only one word for this: Bullshit! Some people can rationalize anything. Fat is unhealthy, period! I myself belong to NARCISSIST, the National Association to Reject Corpulence and Institutionalize Specific Serious Instances of Severe Tubbiness.}

FREEDOM FIGHTER
Bill Clinton says "If Iraq came across the Jordan River, I would grab a rifle and get in the trench and fight and die," [NY Post] {Wow! Be careful, Billy boy. Sounds like the onset of a mid-life crisis.}

AMBER ALERT SYSTEM
Based upon news items of abductions over the past month or so, the message has been made quite clear: immediately throw all available manpower and technology at any case of child abduction if you want the best chance of success. (being formalized as "Amber Alert System"). Most abducted kids who are recovered safely are recovered within the first 24 hours. {Law enforcement agencies across the country better be developing a strategy to deal with a terrorist group who will abduct kids in a specific locale in order to overtax the policing resources prior to a major attack. Get with it. If I can imagine this scenario, then terrorists can too.}

IRAQ SOON TO HAVE NUKES
The Senate Foreign Relations Committee heard testimony from Khidir Hamza, Iraqi nuclear engineer who defected in 1994 and who claims that Iraq could have nuclear weapons by 1995. [CNN] {Hussein is the sociopath who sacked all the oil wells in Kuwait before he left. Do you think he'll hesitate to expend any nuclear and biochemical arsenals he might have? It doesn't matter if he has yet to develop them. He has the will. It's only a matter of time. So, go ahead and back him into a corner and see what he does.}

CELEBRATING DEATH AND DESTRUCTION
Thousands of Palestinians demonstrated in Gaza to celebrate the attack at the Hebrew University that killed seven and wounded thirty-nine.[Jerusalem Post] {Now, this is a perfect symptom of national mental illness if there ever was one--and they don't even have a nation yet.}

PILOT WHALES DEAD
After two previous beachings, pilots whales in Massachusetts were euthanized by marine experts who were unable to return them to the ocean for a third time in two days. [CNN] {Ever get the idea that maybe the whales intended to die, that an innate wisdom was at work, perhaps to prevent an infection from further spreading, and our "humane" efforts to save them were actually causing them more suffering than was necessary?}

SECOND-HAND CATS
New study proposes to link exposure to second-hand smoke to a common form of feline cancer. [MSNBC] {Okay. This is getting serious now. It's one thing when people are dying from second-hand smoke, but now it's killing cats! How many lives does this use up, I wonder.}