Sometimes
(a vain attempt to establish a statement of identity)
a short interview
by
Anna Marie Alberti
Who are you?
jai jackson, sometimes.
What do you mean, sometimes?
Sometimes this, sometimes that. Sometimes wise, sometimes stupid. Sometimes experienced, sometimes naive. Sometimes optimistic, sometimes pessimistic...
Isn't that the way we all are?
No.
Why not?
I don't know. You tell me.
I don't know either. What's your favorite book?
Usually whatever one I'm reading at the moment?
What book are you reading now?
I just finished Baby Driver by Jan Kerouac.
So then is that your favorite book right now?
No.
But you said...
I say a lot of things.
What's your favorite movie?
Lots of them.
Whatever one you're watching at the moment?
No. I watch a lot of bad movies.
What's your favorite quote?
Is this what this is going to be? A list of "what's-your-favorites?" I can do a list like that myself.
O-Kay. [Skips down list.] What do people find shocking about you?
Static electricity.
Be serious.
I am. Electricity is a serious subject.
Do you think that because you're an electrician?
I'm not an electrician. I just work as one sometimes.
But you say you're a psychologist and you never work as one.
Yeah. Get it?
No.
Anyway, I do work as a psychologist. A lot sometimes. For my own purposes. I'm just not allowed to be paid for it.
Why not? Have you been disbarred, or whatever they do to psychologists?
No. I wish. That'd be good material. Nothing that dramatic. It's a matter of being licensed by the state. I could be a 'psychotherapist' if I wanted, but not a 'psychologist.' Figure that one out.
What's your most serious addiction?
Moving right along. Now? Food, I guess.
You wouldn't know it to look at you. You're so thin.
Not really. It's an illusion. But I resist food very well most of the time.
You said now. Have there been more serious addictions in the past?
Let's not talk about that.
Pet peeves?
Yes.
What are they?
Ah, let's see. Interviewers. No. Just kidding. How about people who try to manipulate me? Or better yet, people who are critical of some small part of me without considering the whole of what I am and how the small parts fit into that complex.
But you once wrote that you sometimes feel you're everything and everyone.
Exactly. When you criticize me, you criticize the world.
So what's wrong with that?
Nothing. It's just a pet peeve. It's insignificant. Like this question.
Okay. If that's the way you want to play.
I'm sorry.
I doubt it.
No. I really am. I'm an asshole.
You CAN be sometimes.
That's the whole point, isn't it?
What is?
No one is everything they are all the time. Everyone is a hypocrite. But not always.
Only sometimes.
Yeah.